back to work this week...real work....and the balance is eluding me. i left in tears today. i was always passionate about the work i do before i became a mother. i do therapy based on applied behavioral analysis with children on the autism spectrum. i left to stay home with A and now that my husband has been out of work so long i am back in the world of autism. and it was so hard this week.
it was hard to leave A when i want to be with him, hard to be with a sick baby who is the same age as A, hard to not let the anger i have about having to work overtake me. where is the balance?
i love what i do as work but there is a strong urge to simply be a mother. the feeling that everyday i am missing time with A is heartbreaking. will i ever get used to this feeling?
I can only imagine how hard it is :( I wish I had words of wisdom. Sometimes all we can do is accept and embrace what is in front of us, no matter how hard it is. Fighting against it is exhausting and leads to more tears and resentments. It's hard being a mama. Those heartstrings are so tightly wound.
ReplyDelete