happy

today was the first day in quite a few that the anxiety was lifted. good news yesterday and oiur life is slowly coming back together.... who could ask for more?
i have noticed that after times of intense anxiety in my life, my other senses become heightened when the anxiety dissipates.
today i caught myself marveling at the colors of a red leaf, enjoying the fall breeze on my skin, stopping eating once i realized i was full, driving home excited to see my husband, to hug and kiss him...
i am reminded that there is always a balance to life. when something goes up something else comes down. there is also purpose to the trials we go through. sometimes it takes me only a moment to see the purpose and sometimes it takes years for the true purpose to materialize.
i am thankful today that my life is full of riches....the love of a husband, the miracle of a son, the families i know and love, the friends i know and love, the world around me....there is always happiness

the past few weeks have been difficult. my husband was laid off again and we are simmering in the aftermath. i am not willing to let our life fall apart over this again. i know we are much smarter going into this than the last time around but i am fearful none the less.
i am back to work part time, and my hubby is back to being a stay at home dad. this is not what we want and it just plain sucks but that's what we have to do right now. i am lucky i only have to work part time and i am lucky we had enough time to get on the right track before he was let go again. i know he will get called back eventually. the first time this happend 6 years ago he was out 6 months. then it happened in 2007 and he was out for over two years.
all i can do is learn from our mistakes, try not to make new ones and move along as best i can.
but these times are trying and i feel weaker with every step....