tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75930221534748971962024-03-05T08:32:36.384-08:00This Mellow MamaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-68356322954506587802014-06-09T04:55:00.001-07:002014-06-09T04:55:17.133-07:00Frugal AccomplishmentsThis past week has been pretty great in the way of frugal accomplishments!<br />
Friday my mother in law insisted on taking my son for an overnight so my husband and I had a surprise date night friday night. We went for dinner at our favorite chinese place and then hit the store to use some coupons for an awesome Perdue chicken nugget deal. We buy chicken nuggets regularly for our son and the deal paired with coupons brought each pack to 15 cents! Awesome! I know they are not the healthiest way to eat chicken but sometimes its ok to keep it easy.<br />
Other coupon deals this week included pasta sauce, soup and mens 3 in 1 body wash/shampoo/conditioner. We rounded out this weeks coupon deals with a watermelon and don't plan on going back to the store for groceries until next week. There is plenty of stuff in our freezer/pantry for meals for the next week. We had a great deal on the sauce and the soup was free with coupons so we spent less than $18 dollars this week. I am so happy about that. I don't want to grocery shop again until next wednesday.....the challenge is on!<br />
While I'm on the subject of food I made a batch of bagels that we are still enjoying, a batch of large banana muffins, a batch of mini banana muffins and two batches of cookies that we sent on playdates and had as dessert a few nights. I am really enjoying being in the kitchen and that brings me to my next accomplishment.....the flea market<br />
We have had a running list of items we need/want for the house and just this past week I added mini muffin tins, a bunt cake pan, and silicone molds. Other items on our list are an outdoor coffee table, an indoor coffee table, a bistro patio set, and a new blender as mine is dying a slow death. Saturday morning we woke up and decided to go to the flea market. We are planning to go in two weeks but because we had our freebie date night we got to go this weekend too. We are keeping an eye out for christmas gifts as well as items on our list. I found mini muffin tins, the cake pan and a vintage jello mold for a dollar! I wasn't going to take the jello mold as none of us eat jello but the guy told me I could just have it since I took the other pans! My girlfriend was over saturday night and gave me an idea to make cookie bowls for ice cream.....maybe we'll do that for fathers day!<br />
My husband decided he was going to build coffee tables for us and started the outdoor one. I can't wait to see how it comes out! His last building project was the bar in our basement which he built out of old pallets. It looks awesome so I can only imagine how great the coffee tables will look! I am thankful to have such a creative and handy husband.<br />
While at the flea market I found a christmas gift for my inlaws, some gifts for my son and a gift for my sister. Each item cost $1 except for this great star wars darth maul figure. That will be a main gift this year for my son and I am so excited as it only cost $5. Our christmas budget is $750 for EVERYTHING.....gifts for 10 people, a tree, food for the dinners we host (a party and christmas eve) and grab gifts. I want to come in well under $750 and the only way to do that is to start now. I have my eyes open for great gifts at great prices and I think we did awesome this weekend.<br />
I had a wonderful week last week and a great weekend. Our date night was so much fun and the rest of the weekend we hung out at home just enjoying each others company. Looking forward to more frugal accomplishments in the week ahead!<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-79777610668411479632014-06-02T08:52:00.000-07:002014-06-02T08:52:11.452-07:00Last Week's Frugal AccomplishmentsLast week we did much better meal planning. We created a plan, made a list and for the first time in a long time we stuck to it! We are budgeting $400 a month for food which comes out to $100 a week. I expect this to include toiletries like diapers, wipes and tp too. This week we came in at less than $85 which I was so excited about!<br />
One night last week we wanted take out and decided to order a pizza. At the last minute I said I would run to the store. I got a store brand Freschetta type pizza for 4 dollars! Way less than delivery would have been....still not as frugal as eating our planned meal but we just didn't want it that night.<br />
I got 2 packages of turkey bacon (the only bacon we eat) for free after a sale and coupons.<br />
I made a batch of bagels for breakfasts and some lunches for the next two weeks. My husband made awesome pancakes for breakfast on sunday and made extras for us to have throughout the week as well.<br />
My son and I made from scratch chocolate chip cookies and they are awesome! We never buy cookies or cookie dough unless its around the holidays. With this recipe we used up the last of a few ingredients and once we taste tested the cookies we were blown away! So yummy! These are a way better tasting treat than munchkins or the gingerbread guys at the store bakery.....and way cheaper too. I wonder if they freeze well?<br />
I finished planting all my seedlings. I am worried that my tomatoes may not make it....its been a cooler spring here in new england. If they don't grow we will have to purchase some from the nursery but I'm hoping to hold out for a sale.<br />
My husband finished the rest of the deck boxes (they were my mothers day present) and I filled them in with dirt leftover from the garden. The boxes total 12 feet long by 4 inches wide and the dirt was already on hand...how awesome is that?<br />
I had a bunch of hosta plants growing in a very sunny spot in my long garden. I decided to move them to one side of the back deck. They'll be happier in the shadier area and once they fill in a little they'll make a great border there. I'm slowly thinning out my long garden and moving plants around. We rent this house and will only be here another 2 to 3 years so I don't want to really invest any money in this yard. When we buy a house of our own I hope to have fruit trees and berry bushes and a much bigger garden but for now, I am very happy with the way things are coming along out there.<br />
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Room for Improvement:<br />
This week I want to stick to our meal plan./ I'm so happy we were $15 under budget for the week and I don't want to waste that by getting lazy and ordering take out.<br />
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We have a list of items we would like for our deck and also some items we need such as clothes for my son and some shirts for my husband. I don't want to spend a fortune so I'm going to be looking for some good deals and also checking out some yard sales and the flea market for the outdoor stuff. This is sort of a preemptive room for improvement measure!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-70452376851854237172014-05-29T05:06:00.002-07:002014-05-29T05:06:56.121-07:00Second Half GoalsI am a super list person. I make lists for literally everything. I get a lot of satisfaction out of crossing things off my lists. One of my favorite lists to make is "goals". I usually break them up into daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals. I am going to start posting them here to help me stay organized and accountable.<br />
My second half goals are the goals I would like to achieve in the last half of the year. So by the end of December I would like to:<br />
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1. Put 10,000 into savings<br />
2. Pay off/down current credit card balances to within $100<br />
3. Lose 35 lbs....possibly more<br />
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In order to reach these goals I need to continue some current behavior, create some new behaviors and break some bad habits. I know the easiest one will be savings because now that we are able to save money every month I enjoy seeing it add up in the account! Paying off/down our credit card balances will rely heavily on how much extra income I can bring in. I need to stay motivated here. I make extra money by selling things on ebay, selling things on craigslist and by babysitting here and there. All this extra money will go directly to credit cards until they are gone. We put some extra every month to credit cards but its not enough to have them gone in 6 months. The last goal will require motivation too, continuous motivation! Losing 35 lbs in 6-7 months is more than doable in a healthy way. I have always lost weight before in really unhealthy ways and now that we are focusing on living more naturally I know I can do it the right way. I plan on cooking more of our own food (less take-out, less processed garbage) and being more active. As a family we enjoy hiking, going to the beach and playing in the yard, but, its not enough for me to lose weight. I need to add in some hikes/walks on my own and I would love to get back to yoga. A few years ago I worked the check in desk of a yoga studio in exchange for classes but now I think even just doing a dvd in the basement would be great. Especially since I have plenty of them! Maybe a good motivator would be that once we pay off our credit cards I can purchase a class card for yoga!<br />
Here's to staying motivated to reach the last half goals!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-31093165251245525382014-05-27T10:37:00.000-07:002014-05-27T10:37:37.859-07:00Last weeks's frugal accomplishmentsThese past few years of financial insecurity left us many times <i>without. </i>Without money for groceries, without money for rent, without money for any kind of extra....candy at the checkout? no. Magazines at the checkout? no. Christmas gifts? nope.<br />
We went without for so long that now that we don't have to I have a big fear of blowing all our money on things we have come to realize we don't need. Maintaining frugal practices even though they are no longer a necessity is important to me and I hope to hold myself accountable here. Every week on Mondays (well, today is Tuesday but yesterday was a holiday!!) I want to recap what frugal practices we engaged in the week before and where there is room for improvement.<br />
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Last week I made bagels with a recipe from <a href="http://theprudenthomemakerblog.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://theprudenthomemakerblog.blogspot.com/</a> and they came out INCREDIBLE! My husband is an incredible cook and is usually the one in the kitchen. Now that he is back working full time it is a goal of mine to do more in the kitchen. I like to bake because I need directions to follow and I was so happy with how the bagels turned out. The recipe made a HUGE batch and I have been eating a bagel for breakfast every day this week. My son loved them too and my husband.....and I know if my husband likes it its good because he is a really critical taste tester. Because we have been eating bagels for breakfast all week we have saved having to buy waffles and have saved on bread for toast. I definitely need to do more "from scratch" cooking!<br />
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I made laundry detergent and have been hang drying clothes. I'm not that happy with our laundry soap and plan on tweaking it with some essential oils.<br />
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I made dishwasher soap that works better than any commercial soap we have ever used. I am so impressed with it I wish I had made it years ago!<br />
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We used cloths instead of paper towels. I bought two packs of face cloths at Walmart a few months ago for $4 a pack. We have not bought paper towels since!<br />
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We made homemade popsicles by freezing our homemade smoothies into popsicle molds.By doing this we eat super healthy popsicles and save our produce by freezing leftover smoothies instead of tossing them. This is a good way to use up any produce about to go bad too!<br />
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Last night we shopped around for car insurance and found an agency that will save us combined $250 a month! That is incredible and I am so happy about it!<br />
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I sold a few things on ebay. All of our money from selling things on ebay goes to our credit card debt. We have $2500 in credit card debt from using credit cards for regular living expenses in the time my husband was out of work. Our credit card debt and some other debt we have haunts me as mistakes we made during our difficult financial times. I know we have learned from these mistakes but the time its taking to pay off the credit cards it driving me crazy. I know the debt will be gone soon enough and we won't be in this place again. I just need to keep reminding myself of that!<br />
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We checked out books and movies from the library for FREE.....who doesn't love the library? I think it is one of the best places in the whole world. They lend you everything for free and trust you to return it! When my son is a little older there are some awesome programs we can participate in through the library that are free as well.<br />
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We accepted a gently used full size mattress and box spring from our friends. I had just said to my husband that I wanted a full size bed for our son's room and the very next day my friend told me they were switching her sons bed out and would we want it? Its only two years old and in great shape! I used to be so snobby about accepting freebies. When I was pregnant this same family gave us so much of their kids hand me downs that we didn't have to register for anything but clothes and diapers! Being so low on money and being pregnant changed my mind about hand me downs. I saw them as wonderful blessings to be grateful for and now I understand that second hand is also a greener choice. There is nothing wrong with second hand....or third or fourth hand! We are so grateful for all our hand me downs!<br />
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I started planting our garden over the long weekend. We found a great sale on dirt and saved over $30 from what I had budgeted for dirt! I filled in my garden, filled three boxes, my two huge deck boxes, and several pots for $25. I had budgeted $60! I also found a super memorial day deal on a hanging plant for the front porch. There has been a hanger out there since we moved in that has been empty. I found a hanging plant for $5 that I saw at another store for $25! I had the cashier check the price before I bought it because I couldn't believe it was such a great deal....but it was!<br />
Much of what is planted in the garden was grown from seed. We have peas growing from seed, spinach, tomatos, zuccinni, cucumber and basil all from seed. I hope everything grows well! We also started marigold seeds but they aren't growing just yet.<br />
I was able to spread out alot of my flower garden just because everything has been growing so big. When we first moved here we were gifted plant clippings and they have taken over the flower beds! I was able to fill in my side bed that was empty without having to buy a thing!<br />
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ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:<br />
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We took A to Chuckee Cheese over the weekend and should have looked for a coupon first. We didn't eat there, just played games and played in the playground. He loves the playground there because its all up above the ground.<br />
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We ordered dinner out twice last week because we didn't plan well. This all goes back to me wanting to be better in the kitchen!! We did make a meal plan for this week so the goal is to stick to it!!<br />
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We ordered the lego movie for $15 from our cable provider. If we had waited we could have got it from the library but we were too excited. We do not go to the movies because 1. IT IS WAY TOO EXPENSIVE and 2. both myself and my son have sound sensitivities and are uncomfortable watching movies at the theatre.<br />
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I hope this week finds us with lots more frugal accomplishments!!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-74626793614190097162014-05-27T09:46:00.003-07:002014-05-27T09:46:55.144-07:00New Beginnings Life has twisted and turned so much since I last caught up here. I would like to be better about writing in this and today seems like a good day to start. I am transitioning back to being a stay at home mom after 4 years of being a working mom. There were times that were so hard financially that I worked 7 days a week just to make ends meet. I have such gratitude for the situation we are in now that will allow me to be home with my son.<br />
I have new hopes for this blog.....mainly to document our frugal living, our back to basics natural living, and our financial goals as we save and dig out of debt in order to buy a house in the next few years. All of these things are intertwined with each other. We are practicing frugality by living as naturally as possible and by living naturally we save money and maintain better health. It is my intention to document this in this blog moving forward.<br />
In the coming months we are planning to begin homeschooling as well. The beginning of summer starts the beginning of me being home full time with my son. I want to have an active but frugal summer filled with joy and fun and then begin our homeschool in the fall. Eventually I plan to school year round because I believe learning takes place organically at all times of the year but for this summer I want to slowly transition into our new lifestyle and come into a natural rythm before we introduce a schooling aspect.<br />
I so looking forward to all that life has to offer us as we navigate the coming years.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-62357702398531804022012-04-09T17:20:00.001-07:002012-04-09T17:21:11.145-07:00is the pain there to remind us how good it really is when it is really good?<br />take none of it for grantedUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-88544065796063993432011-06-21T15:03:00.001-07:002011-06-21T15:05:08.309-07:00there has been:<br /><br />warmer air<br />and sleeping in tents<br />and swimming in rivers<br />and moonlight<br />there has been chairs on the deck<br />and bare feet in wading pools<br />there has been<br />reconnection<br />and there has been letting go<br />there has been shock and awe<br />an overwhelming look at life<br />there has been<br />no money honey<br />beggning and borrowing<br />and this close to stealing<br />there has been gratitude still<br />and reverence<br />and love<br />over all<br />and most importantly<br />there has been loveUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-29208394844428563822011-05-11T08:12:00.000-07:002011-05-11T08:15:26.637-07:00give megive me<br />guitars on shell streaked beaches<br />candles burning past midnight<br />give me an honest fortune<br />and drunk stumbling down cobblestone streets<br />give me poems again<br />painted words dripping on your tongue<br />give me the crash of a wave<br />the rise of the sun<br />give me moonlit swimming<br />and gentle waves<br />give me salty hair and chinese food in our swimsuits<br />give me footprints<br />big and little<br />give me braided bracelets and shell necklaces<br />give me the poetry of a life lived like thisUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-62274932654746883052011-04-25T15:42:00.000-07:002011-04-25T15:47:44.879-07:00poemshe had forgotten<br /><br />about music<br /><br />about sound flooding her veins<br /><br />about art<br /><br />and the overwhelm<br /><br />about paint on canvas and naked arms<br /><br />about poetry<br /><br />and how could she have forgotten about poetry?<br /><br />she was quietly waiting<br /><br />for the invitation<br /><br />back to herselfUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-86466148233911894482011-04-18T16:33:00.000-07:002011-04-18T16:42:18.915-07:00sheshe she closes her eyes the smell of flowers pink and pastel and they should be for easter she she closes her eyes and that giggle fills her ears and it should never stop she crosses her fingers she waters the plants and she breathes in quick when she comes she dances on eggshells she opens the door slow she covers it up so you'll never know she closes her eyes and the show starts up again the circus lives in her town she arches her back and catches the trapeze and the fall overwhelms her again she lands at your ocean she swims in too deep and you'll never see her againUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-42349753006061730612011-03-18T15:42:00.000-07:002011-03-18T15:48:25.633-07:00there has been...There has been<br />an inspiring breeze<br />and warm sun spots<br />driving with the sun roof open<br />a day that is longer than the last<br />there has been stuffy noses and croupy coughs<br />and plenty of time sprawled out in bed<br />there has been an icy forest walk<br />and some hula hooping<br />there has been margaritas<br />and vegetarian eating<br />there has been talk of the ocean,<br />of dates to dip our toes in<br />there has been talk of<br />camping trips<br />and girl getaways<br />and romantic weekends<br />there have been<br />plans....<br />there have been giant pots<br />and garden gnomes<br />and lists<br />and books<br />and blogs<br />there has been....<br />a renewal...<br />there has been scrapbooking<br />and day dreaming<br />and wine drinking<br />and deep communicating<br />there has been an aching lonliness as well<br />there has been talk of more babies<br />and big dreams<br />there has been....<br />a life worth livingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-85640791224635678252011-03-14T15:02:00.000-07:002011-03-14T15:11:48.914-07:00Happy LifeWe took A today to the rehabilitation center his great grandmother is currently staying in. As we were walking the halls to her room every person who passed us had to stop and talk to him. He was a gem for everybody, dishing out smiles and waves and even a few blown kisses. I know there has to be some meaning for the elderly living in these places when they see a baby. It has to give the end of your life purpose; to let the next generation have their turn on earth. I could feel the emotions of some of these people. A was giving them the simplest of joys and it was so moving.<br />One woman in particular brought tears to my eyes. As we began to walk away after A had said hi she wished us all well and looked at A and said "Happy Life"<br />It was the closest thing to a blessing I have ever felt in my life. I felt like at that moment, this woman was thankful for the happy life she herself had lived so far and was genuinely happy to pass the torch. In my mind a fast-forwarded montage played of A growing up and going to school, getting married, having a baby.....<br />Life goes by so, so fast. I know now to count my blessings and be grateful for the small things. And may we all have a Happy LifeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-58171122592738952922011-02-24T07:04:00.000-08:002011-02-24T07:21:41.219-08:00peace<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwQ32kmNMfUoDMNKZuq-jWYMCh3EyZO9qalycuxO8xGd-ufSAmh9C2M2UZa1ISlaXv5UctAs5Wnl6AXdBFb51T8AFMgdNbUhfLCztPbm2j73oy5PCe2_al4qymCFzaUhv_j2XWbGllPjAF/s1600/prayerflag.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5577272583628059042" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwQ32kmNMfUoDMNKZuq-jWYMCh3EyZO9qalycuxO8xGd-ufSAmh9C2M2UZa1ISlaXv5UctAs5Wnl6AXdBFb51T8AFMgdNbUhfLCztPbm2j73oy5PCe2_al4qymCFzaUhv_j2XWbGllPjAF/s320/prayerflag.jpg" border="0" /></a> being a peaceful person and parent is so important to me. i notice that the more i invite gratitude into my life the less often anger and frustration show up. sometimes i need a reminder to do this. reminders come in small packages....when A blows me a kiss or i happen to catch a sunbeam pouring in the window. moments like these make me slow down and breathe.<br />this is week three back to work and it is a wee tiny bit easier than the first days. moments i catch myself feeling angry or frustrated i remind myself that i am lucky i only have to work part time and that i am lucky i like what i do. there has been such a strive for balance these past few weeks but i am at a place now where i am going to just step back and let the balance come.<br />i believe in balance in all aspects of life but i know balance does not mean 50/50 at all times. i learned this for the first time in my relationship with my husband. balance means we both work to keep the flow steady, not just that we put in our "half". sometimes one has to give more while the other has to give less and yet this is still balance. this is the attitude i am taking in regards to work right now.<br />i know life balances itself organically anyway. the more we can go with the flow the more happy we can beUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-84742269806723076432011-02-16T16:20:00.000-08:002011-02-16T16:25:23.421-08:00balanceback to work this week...real work....and the balance is eluding me. i left in tears today. i was always passionate about the work i do before i became a mother. i do therapy based on applied behavioral analysis with children on the autism spectrum. i left to stay home with A and now that my husband has been out of work so long i am back in the world of autism. and it was so hard this week.<br />it was hard to leave A when i want to be with him, hard to be with a sick baby who is the same age as A, hard to not let the anger i have about having to work overtake me. where is the balance?<br />i love what i do as work but there is a strong urge to simply be a mother. the feeling that everyday i am missing time with A is heartbreaking. will i ever get used to this feeling?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-8959722860855709602011-01-12T06:39:00.000-08:002011-01-12T06:59:38.815-08:00pauseAn overwhelming snow storm has rolled into town and has forced the three of us to stay put all. day. today.<br />there were big plans to move a bunch of stuff to our new home but the blizzard outside has shut down our whole operation. i was annoyed at first but now i am looking at this as an invitation to take a break, take a breather, pause the madness<br />we have been going nonstop these final days before the move and i have been overwhelmed, easily angered, and stressed out. this is not how i want to arrive at our new place!<br />so i am taking this opportunity to take a breath and think about all the goodness that awaits us at our new home.<br />i want to also put all the resolutions and ideas in my head onto my blog to help hold me accountable to them. we are using this move as a catalyst for some big changes we are making in the coming year and i need to organize my thoughts.<br /><br />RESOLUTIONS:<br /><br />Stick to the budget and save a minimum of $100 a week<br />Join the CSA<br />Hike a minimum of once a week<br />Swim a minimum of once a week in summer<br />Workout more...be able to run a mile without walking<br />Expand A's diet (ideas?)<br />Cook one new recipe a week<br />Take one yoga class a week<br />Plan a weekend in newport/portland/loon with hubby<br />Plan a north conway girls trip/camping trip<br />Map out a garden<br /> <br /><br /><br />PLANS!!!!<br />Continue ebay business...work up to $500/month<br />Get an etsy site up and running<br />Set aside time each week for projects/planning<br />Purchase a scanner/printer/photocopier<br />Begin required reading for becoming a doula<br /><br /><br />I truly feel like this year is the year of possibilities. I have so many ideas in my head that I believe in and I am excited to see some things come to fruition this year. Once we are fully moved into our house I plan on getting right to work to grow my existing business and to begin a new creative one. I am so excited to begin channeling my creativity into a way to support my family. I am so blessed that I have the time to do this. My husband being out of work again frees up so much time for the two of us to devote to the business idea we have. I am really excited about this and it has allowed me to see his unemployment in a whole new way. We both have had these ideas for so long and I feel like this is the universe telling us we need to explore them.<br /><br />I am so ready to move in, set up and get to work! This weekend can't get here fast enough!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-88785748201162196522011-01-05T07:47:00.000-08:002011-01-05T07:56:10.022-08:00Love this<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq_h2JBu0KvtN3LxJ3kL1brmzpPlXUNwp2Y_DDjbZAHa5pADs_K04uAD1oRQmN_ZvZ0mWJy5enbC9UcMuDW59ewJNETJ-j4c7Ep0DeTrnHS6gMYbz6piz1esWU__u6ujOEv-PVq2W7Psir/s1600/LOVE+THIS.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558729232196861970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq_h2JBu0KvtN3LxJ3kL1brmzpPlXUNwp2Y_DDjbZAHa5pADs_K04uAD1oRQmN_ZvZ0mWJy5enbC9UcMuDW59ewJNETJ-j4c7Ep0DeTrnHS6gMYbz6piz1esWU__u6ujOEv-PVq2W7Psir/s320/LOVE+THIS.JPG" border="0" /></a> Sometimes the best choice for me and my family is a choice that most people think is the wrong one. This has been a struggle over the years as we make decisions that are easily judged by our family, friends and outsiders. I am finally at a point where I don't take other people's opinions to heart. I am finally trusting myself and that feels good.<br />I live my life to be with my family. I love my son and my husband and I enjoy the time we have together. Right now this means that we live on less income in order to have that family time. The last few years have been a study on living on less, loving what we have and appreciating the small things. This has brought us to a place where we value each other and want to spend our time together.<br />I love this life and I wouldn't change it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-14979102242267026992010-12-27T07:58:00.000-08:002010-12-27T08:12:16.358-08:00very merry<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1rF8qqvLufYl6abjiGIgqP8_NUQSsvM7oHDvSWrNXve0scl-DUCiHQLDi3uJheWihjF7aPnCqDNDDO-10-SIjNp2FJKrYOrNwN781MpVYbkAlIZW1rn7frThZlr4SU3-ZmsK5remxCCY/s1600/ebay+950.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5555392388031758082" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1rF8qqvLufYl6abjiGIgqP8_NUQSsvM7oHDvSWrNXve0scl-DUCiHQLDi3uJheWihjF7aPnCqDNDDO-10-SIjNp2FJKrYOrNwN781MpVYbkAlIZW1rn7frThZlr4SU3-ZmsK5remxCCY/s320/ebay+950.jpg" border="0" /></a> aahhh...the aftermath of a very merry christmas....boxes of goodies all over the house, tons of yummy leftovers in the fridge, the warm feeling of being engulfed by family for three days straight...<br />christmas never disappoints me. i love it and i have many expectations for it and i am always bowled over by how they are met and exceeded. i love love love to have family at our house, eating food that is lovingly made for them, opening gifts i made or spent time picking out, laughing and playing with A and thoroughly enjoying being a <em>family</em><br />christmas time always leaves me feeling like a lucky gal to have the people i know and love in my life. now that we have A, christmas time is that much more meaningful. i feel my heart glow to watch him enjoy this time with everyone.<br />i look forward to keeping our traditions and starting new ones as A grows. and not just for christmas but for all special occasions and moments: birthdays and season changes and special holidays....<br />i feel wrapped up in love today and i feel joyful and hopeful for all the moments to come<br /><br />now that christmas and all that goes with it is behind us we are beginning to focus on our impending MOVE. i am giddy with excitement to think of the house we are moving into and all the awesome things that will coincide with that. we are moving so much closer to family and friends which is important to us as we raise A. we have a big back yard now so we can spend time outside grilling and sitting around the fire pit with friends and family (something we haven't gotten to do in a LONG time!). we have so. much. more. room for entertaining and we are already planning the first (of many!) get togethers. and then little things like plenty of windows for plants and room in the yard for a hearty garden are making me jump for joy. i am so looking forward to settling into a happy life in our new house.<br /><br />i feel like 2011 is going to kick off in a wonderful way and will set the stage for a positive shift as we go through the new year. there is so much to look forward to and i am ready for all of it!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-74210381871856972242010-12-22T17:53:00.001-08:002010-12-22T18:18:26.235-08:00materialthe last few years have been difficult for us financially. this has brought both shadows and light. struggling financially was humiliating and humbling. having to lean on people, both family and friends, was humbling. i felt like i had lost <em>so much.</em><br />i was angry that i couldn't have things i wanted. i was angry we couldn't go on vacation. i was angry that my husband couldn't afford an engagement ring. i was angry at the world and i was fed up with life. i felt like the life i was living was pointless....i was a slave to the money we didn't have.<br />when i found out i was pregnant i went from being just angry to being angry and terrified. how were we going to raise a baby when we couldn't support ourselves? i wanted our baby with every fiber of my being and i was afraid we couldn't give him all the things he needed.<br />but it turns out we don't really need much in life. A has taught me that as humans, we truly do not need much.<br />we need food and water<br />and shelter<br />and love<br />being able to provide these things for A has changed my perspective on the things i truly need versus the things i merely want. it wasn't until i became a mother that i realized the sad state our world is in when children and babies fresh from the womb do not have these basic needs met. learning about situations so much worse than the one i was in has brought me to my knees. i count my blessings and i thank my lucky stars every day that we have a roof over our heads, good food to eat, clean water to drink and an awesome amount of love for each other.<br />realizing that there are alot of people in the world whose basic needs are not met has changed me as a person. i have stopped caring about material things, about vacations i can't take and clothes i can't afford. i have started thinking about how i can help other people get their needs met since mine are taken care of.<br />it is funny that we had to lose everything to truly see the value of the most basic things. now that i feel grateful for the life i have i am so much happier. now that i can find pleasure in the small things i don't feel like i need designer clothes and fancy cars to be happy. how did i get wrapped up in that to begin with?<br />there is so much joy in life itself that we don't need the material.<br />i am grateful i have learned this now and can live the rest of my life finding joy in the living and doing, not the owning and showing.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-28028834575057539052010-12-19T17:53:00.000-08:002010-12-19T18:10:12.852-08:00As the holidays approach i am reminded of all the things i am grateful for and lucky to have in this life. i think about my family, about the family my son was born into, i think about the food on my table, and my husband who cooks it every day. i think about the roof over my head and the new roof soon to come, the bed i sleep in, the car i drive, the wonderful way i earn money for my family.....<br />i am so blessed<br />this year is drawing to a close and it has been the most wonderful year of my life. i got to stay home with my son and watch every little smile/movement/milestone. i feel i have grown into a woman this year. A was born in november of 2009 but 2010 was spent turning into the mother i already was. becoming a mother has been the first thing to make me truly feel like a woman. i am in awe of my body, of the way women birth babies into the world, of our natural ability to do so. and i am in awe of the women who mother babies who are born to biological mothers. the women and men who adopt children and the single mothers of the world inspire me daily. mothering feels like the most important thing i have done and will ever do and i applaud these women whose journey's are so much more complicated and dificult than mine.<br />this year has been the most incredible year of my life. i have learned so much about myself and i have fully enjoyed coming into my own as a mother. i look forward to all the moments to come.<br />i am grateful as i think about my son, my husband, the life i am lucky to live...<br />i look forward to many things in the new year: watching A grow and develop, moving, living a more natutal lifestyle, working creatively, gardening, camping....and in the new year i would like to work more to help people who don't have the options i have. i would like to donate more, volunteer, practice good will in small ways. i want my son to grow up with altruism in his bones. there is so much need in the world and helping where i can feels good and it feels deeply important.<br />i am welcoming 2011 with open arms and a fresh outlook. bring it on!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-88649110926937151102010-12-15T17:33:00.000-08:002010-12-15T17:40:56.040-08:00growingi sometimes feel like my life is passing before my eyes. i get anxious that time is running out, that i will never do all the things i dream of. i watch time vanish and my baby turn into a toddler, it feels like time has sped up since i was younger<br />i feel myself getting older. i notice wrinkles now and random grey hair. but it isn't these physical changes that make me nervous. i don't want to run out of time. there is so much i dream of doing in this life and i feel like time is my enemy.<br />i never wanted time to be still. growing up i couldn't wait for time to pass. once i was an adult i felt like each passing year brought me further from my excruciating childhood. i loved the passage of time....it was like a ship sailing away to new land. but now i am here and i relish these moments. i want to bottle them up and keep them this way always.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-4518060275911020282010-12-13T06:26:00.001-08:002010-12-13T06:31:04.857-08:00gratitudesometimes it is so easy to get caught up in your own struggle so much that you can't even fathom other people are struggling more than you. the realization that some people have it much worse than me is what brought perspective to my situation. reaching out and helping out in a small way has taught me that even when we feel we have nothing we can still give or do <em>something</em>. i was surprised to see just how much good a small motion could make. i have been feeling so much better, so much more balanced lately.<br />and then just now i found out about someone i care about and a struggle they were going through that i knew nothing about. my heart broke for her. thankfully it is over now but knowing that she could get through such a tough time made me feel like my struggles are more than manageable.<br />i need for nothing in my life and my family is healthy and whole. i could not ask for another thing and i am grateful to have the life i have.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-26719041261501663942010-12-06T16:37:00.000-08:002010-12-06T16:56:29.590-08:00beginningI have been quiet here for some time now. Life got tough and I had a hard time keeping my head above water.<br />Things are on the upswing though and I feel ready to re emerge. I have a hard time expressing negative feelings and a harder time sitting with them. I am a happy free spirit and when things are happening to pull me down I have a hard time accepting them. I am learning though that dark times make the good times brighter.<br />Life felt stagnant and I felt I was in a place where I didn't belong. I was a fish out of water. But now, life is blooming like a flower sucking in the sun and I feel blissed out and incredible.<br />My son turned one in november and I was overcome with both joy and sorrow. My baby has turned into a boy. I miss terribly the moments when he was a newborn content in my arms or wrapped in the moby. But i am excited for him as he learns to crawl and walk and explores every aspect of life with one year old vivaciousness. Being his mama is the greatest gift I have ever been given<br />Life is taking a fabulous turn for our family too. We are moving in January and we couldn't be happier. We have had a hard time here with a very noisy neighbor and a very big lack of space. We are constantly woken up at 2...3...4 am by our neighbor and the lack of sleep was making me crazy. In a fit of sheer frustration I looked online for apartments and found our dream space...<br />My family will be moving to a <em>home </em>in january. a space we can grow into, a yard big enough for entertaining, gardening, swingsets and sandboxes. we are in a state of utter excitement as our move approaches. This moves feels like it is carrying us to the place we belong in. Much closer to family, friends and work and private enough for thorough night's sleep and backyard get togethers.<br />I feel like the stars aligned to bring me to the ad for this place. i felt the brush of guardian angel wings on my soul when we were told we were chosen among many applicants for the space. I feel like I am in a place again where I can feel grateful for the life i have. When my husband lost his job i felt hopeless. i was angry, frustrated and ungrateful. I felt trapped where we were living at the mercy of a neighbor and i felt like we couldn't give our son anything he deserved including a full nights rest. that feeling of helplessness was exhausting.<br />my preception started to change right before thanksgiving. I started thinking about all i have to be utterly grateful for and the list was LONG. and it kept growing. i started thinking about how much we have versus what i feel we don't have. then i started thinking about what we have compared to what other people don't have....a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, medicine when they need it. I have slowed down enough to start being grateful for the fact that i have all these things. i was taking them majorly for granted.<br />and then the neighbor kicked in and i felt the anxiety coming back. so i turn on the computer and there it was....the perfect home. and its ALL OURS!<br />i am so relieved so happy so excited....<br />i am thoroughly blissed out and eternally grateful<br />i know my guardian angels have been conspiring and i am thankful for it<br />i am excited about life again!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-86400771381125840902010-09-29T16:50:00.000-07:002010-09-29T16:56:21.419-07:00happytoday was the first day in quite a few that the anxiety was lifted. good news yesterday and oiur life is slowly coming back together.... who could ask for more?<br />i have noticed that after times of intense anxiety in my life, my other senses become heightened when the anxiety dissipates.<br />today i caught myself marveling at the colors of a red leaf, enjoying the fall breeze on my skin, stopping eating once i realized i was full, driving home excited to see my husband, to hug and kiss him...<br />i am reminded that there is always a balance to life. when something goes up something else comes down. there is also purpose to the trials we go through. sometimes it takes me only a moment to see the purpose and sometimes it takes years for the true purpose to materialize.<br />i am thankful today that my life is full of riches....the love of a husband, the miracle of a son, the families i know and love, the friends i know and love, the world around me....there is always happinessUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-63174756848895940082010-09-12T15:25:00.000-07:002010-09-12T15:29:38.444-07:00the past few weeks have been difficult. my husband was laid off again and we are simmering in the aftermath. i am not willing to let our life fall apart over this again. i know we are much smarter going into this than the last time around but i am fearful none the less.<br />i am back to work part time, and my hubby is back to being a stay at home dad. this is not what we want and it just plain sucks but that's what we have to do right now. i am lucky i only have to work part time and i am lucky we had enough time to get on the right track before he was let go again. i know he will get called back eventually. the first time this happend 6 years ago he was out 6 months. then it happened in 2007 and he was out for over two years.<br />all i can do is learn from our mistakes, try not to make new ones and move along as best i can.<br />but these times are trying and i feel weaker with every step....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7593022153474897196.post-2995072319210912142010-08-30T04:57:00.000-07:002010-08-30T04:58:52.084-07:00oh sweet you bring me to my knees with your soft honest words and your outwright braveryUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0